The Harry Potter Monologues
by TheMischiefMakers
Summary: A Set of Monologues that we are working on for all the characters. Yes...we know that Lily is an Evans, but that Monologue was written and posted before that information came to light...so don't tell us about it!
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Disclaimer: These characters belong to J. K. Rowling, of course you know that. Wish they were ours, oh well. There will be more of these from different characters in the future. Nice reviews will be greatly appreciated all flamers shall receive a special Fred and George Weasley care package grins.

Authors Note: This is going to be part of an ongoing series of Monologues. As new Characters are created there will be other Monologues posted. For those who don't know, a Monologue is a dramatic (or comic) soliloquy performed by one person as in Shakespeare's _Hamlet. So let the show begin……….._

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TheMischiefMakers are proud to present to you:

**The Harry Potter Monologues **

**The Professor Monologues, Part One**

**Staring: Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, and Lockhart**

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**"All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players."**

William Shakespeare

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Dumbledore's Monologue

Halloween night and the feast begins again. Outwardly I smile and joke with the other professors but inwardly my heart fills with sadness. The betrayal of all those years ago still wounds my heart. I try to forget it but as I look down at the students I see him and the memory of that Halloween night returns as if it had only happened yesterday. He has returned and it makes the pain I carry inside all the worse. I see him in the halls or on the Quidditch field and I see not him but James. It's almost like he never left Hogwarts, his mother is still here too. I see her looking out of his eyes when he comes to me asking for advice. His eyes have the same glow hers did and their shared smile still lights up the room. 

Harry sits there laughing with his friends at the Gryffindor table and I wonder how he can laugh on this night of all nights. Then I remember that he doesn't really remember what happened that night now several years gone. I look down and see not Harry and his two friends but James and his three. I smile at the memory, thinking of all their pranks and jokes. Harry sees my smile and waves up at me, his bright green eyes shining with life and joy. I wave back but see not his eyes full of life but another pair their light gone forever

It is my secret pain that I've shared with no one. I wonder if there was something more I should have done, something I could have said. My actions or lack of them have left Harry without a family and every time I see him I am reminded of that. I wonder why I didn't know who the true traitor was at the start of all this. I'm usually so good at knowing everything that goes on around me but not on that night. Not with Peter. I made a mistake and Harry and his parents paid for my arrogance. Voldemort must surely be enjoying my pain wherever he is hiding now.

Though I have no answers to my questions, I do hold answers to Harry's. I know the secret of his past, why Voldemort wants him dead, exactly how his mother protected him and what he did to first break Voldemort's power. I will tell him when the time comes and not before. I don't want him to worry about it or to fear for his life anymore than he does now for fear is Voldemort's weapon of choice. Harry must concentrate on learning and developing his powers first and worry about all else later. 

I may have made a mistake regarding Harry's parents but I will not repeat it with him. I will give my life to keep him safe and have placed many charms of protection around him. It is all I can do now. Later there may be time for other things. For Voldemort's power is rising again, I feel it in my soul. The pain and guilt I carry is Voldemort's fault and the wound it caused may never truly heal. I laugh at something McGonagall is saying but the pain inside lingers as it does every Halloween night. 

The people that we love can never be truly dead and I loved James and Lily as if they were my own children. I will do all I can to aid Harry on his quest. James and Lily live on in him and by helping him maybe my guilt will subside. I will guard and protect him. I have made this promise to myself and to their memories. 

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# Snape's Monologue

Potter, the very name boils my blood. Potter, the new "celebrity." Potter, Lily and James' son. Harry Potter. He's just like his father, if he had known his father he would understand why we say it all the time to him. He would also better understand the hatred I have for him. When I see him it's his father that I see, his defiance and his arrogance. Then Harry looks at me in class, defiance in his eyes, but all I see are her eyes. Lily's green eyes staring back at me. It's unnerving to have her eyes staring at me from James' face. It amazes me how much of both of them are in Harry. Often I wonder if he knows it himself. 

I see him in class, in the halls, around the school, and he acts so much like James, so much.Then when he plays quidditch it's like having James here. Except for those eyes, Lily's sparkling green eyes are searching for the snitch. It's through these eyes, her eyes, that he sees life, school and me.

Lily. Her name still gives me shivers. Lily Weasley. Now you see why I'm so hard on the Weasleys too. Lily is, was their cousin. They too are a constant reminder of her. They're flaming red hair just like hers. 

I loved Lily. Ironic isn't it. The Great, Bitter Severus Snape, Potions Master and Head of Slytherin House in ….love? No one would believe it. I hardly believe it anymore myself. But once before I became Potions Master. Before I was Head of the most hated house. I was just Severus Snape, the brightest student in Ravenclaw. A tall, gangly kid without a care in the world. I loved life. I really did. Until…..That Day.

Actually it was two different days, years apart, which changed my whole outlook on life. The first caused me great pain and bitterness. The second shattered me completely. It's still hard to talk about the second, which makes the first day seem so trivial in the scheme of things. I remember each day though as if it just happened. I'll remember them forever. 

The first day was when I finally decided to ask Lily to meet with me. I had been debating with myself for weeks. But, finally I was going to ask her. Of course things always have a way of going wrong when I plan them. This plan was no different, James appeared to help Lily as I was about to and they fell instantly in love. I ran away, tears streaming down my face, and asking myself:"Why, why, did everything go wrong? Why did fate have to play her hand?" It was that day that I realized I could never have the girl of my dreams. I was bitter, bitter and angry. Nothing would be right again. Bitter was the worst thing to be, or so I thought, then it happened. 

I'm speaking, of course, of the death of James and Lily Potter. Death…actually it was murder. It was this total loss of Lily that shattered me completely. I would never be able to see her again, never. She was lost to me, gone. I'd never again have the chance meeting in the street or the passing "Hello" when she came to see Dumbledore. But all that was gone now. 

I came to their funeral. Everyone was surprised by this because of my rivalry with James. But, I came nonetheless, and cried no less then anyone else, perhaps more. I cried for Lily and James too, their perfect happiness had been shattered and I was shattered as well. 

I stood there, at their gravesite as the coffins were laid in and wept. Lily, my lily was being put in the ground never to blossom again. I wept so hard I had to raise my hood so no one would think the Great Severus Snape had lost his senses. If only they all knew the real me. Longing for something more but stuck with something less.

After the funeral, when everyone had left, I remained behind looking at the hole that was their grave. I peered over the edge and saw a glint to gold from the casket hinge and polished wood surrounded by dirt. I stood there for a while, just looking I had to fight back the urge to jump in a pull their bodies out. All my bitterness was gone and was replaced by a sadness that I had never felt. Where there was once bitterness there was only a cold, dark void in my heart. I began to cry again as I looked up at the sky. It was then that I whispered the words I had never said. "I love you Lily." 

Then I threw two things into their grave. One was a bouquet containing one white rose and a lily. The other was an Amulet of Protection to keep their bodies safe and to protect their grave. Why you're probably wondering. I'm not sure myself, it just seemed the right thing to do, besides there are all kinds of creatures that lurk in the darkness. 

To this day the Amulet still protects them I check on it regularly with the binding spell. Also, I visit their grave, everyday and I place my bouquet. A white rose and a lily. For her…..no, for them.

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McGonagall's Monologue

"Try and relax for once"

I say this to myself often yet I am never able to do it. I find myself saying this phrase over and over like some bazaar kind of litany, willing myself to believe I can but fearing to relax completely. I am not the kind of person to relax, even for a moment and I cannot even remember what relaxation feels like. Too much has happened, too many horrible things, within the years that make up my life. The biggest of these things is Voldemort. There I have said the name but don't ask me to again. He is out there somewhere, waiting like a posed snake ready to strike when he rises again. Too many of my family, friends and yes former students have fallen prey to this evil, corrupt man. Because of this every year my job becomes harder. As I look out over a sea of students during the start of term feast I wonder which ones will still be alive at the start of the next year or will even live long after graduation?

All the students say I'm strict and unbending but they don't know the half of it. I know that the statement is true but I can't afford to get to close to them, not even the Gryffindor's whose house I head. My strictness is but a shield between me and them. Of all the Houses, Gryffindor's seems to be the hardest hit. Their list of dead is a long one several rolls of parchment long. I'm not sure whether that's because they are brave and daring to a fault or because He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named hates Gryffindor so. I would suspect both.

I look out over my transfiguration classes and wonder who will live and who will die. I know I shouldn't do it and I really try not to but I cannot seem to stop myself from wondering especially when the Gryffindor's sit before me. Will The Weasley twins still be pulling their pranks? Will Hermione still be scolding everyone? Will Oliver still be keeping goal on some Quidditch field somewhere? Will Ron have a chance to find his place in the world and will Neville even graduate? These questions run in circles through my mind and I have no answers, at least nothing but vague feelings and premonitions. My gift is so often wrong though that I can't tell whether what it tells me is true or not. This is the reason why people who claim to be seers often annoy me. And why I have no patience with divination.

I wonder too about young Harry Potter, perhaps him most of all. He is the last of his line, the Last Potter. Will he die too in the coming battle ending a line that is as old as magic? Somehow I suspect not. He has already survived so much in his life. His father's luck and his mother's love still protect him even now, years after the spells were cast upon him. Maybe through him the others will be spared the horror. This is my hope. Then maybe all my questions will end their never ending spiral. Maybe my thoughts will stop straying and maybe… just maybe I'll be able to relax again. 

# Lockhart's Monologue

Me, Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League and five time winner of _Witch Weekly_'s Most-Charming-Smile Award, not that I talk about that much. I Gilderoy Lockhart am about to embark on the greatest quest of my whole career. An adventure of epic proportions. Yes, yes, I know winning the Most-Charming-Smile Award five times is pretty epic, but my quest now is much more impressive. Well, maybe not much more impressive, but just as impressive. What you may ask will I be doing, will I again banish banshees or perhaps destroy vampires or save entire villages from death. No, something much more important then that, not that all those things aren't important because they are. I shall be teaching.Not just anywhere either, but at Hogwarts. I won't be teaching just any subject either I shall have control over the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. 

Of course, I am the most qualified for the job. I've done so much study in the Dark Arts and I've prevented so many disasters from happening how else could I be anything but the best man for the job. Did I mention that I've won _Witch Weekly_'s Most-Charming-Smile Award five times. I'm sure I forgot to tell you that. I try not to talk about it much as there are so many things that I have done. For example, I'm an acclaimed author. My books have been best sellers at Flourish and Blotts for weeks now. Not that I'm bragging about it, I don't brag about anything. I'm sure I forgot to mention my award, Most-Charming-Smile Award, _Witch Weekly_ gives it every year and I've won it five times running, but I don't tell everyone about it.

I need to focus all my attention on my new job. Yes, I have much to do. Lessons to prepare. Of course the best books for the class will be my books, naturally. So much information there. I could use my complete set. I mean, it is the most complete compendium of the world of the Dark Arts. Spent years with them all. Excellent books, bestseller, every one of them. All you could ever want to know about Dark Arts and about me of course. There's even a whole section on a disturbance at one of the _Witch Weekly_ Award banquets. Did I tell you, I've won their Most-Charming-Smile Award five times, I'm sure I forgot such a little thing. I don't talk about it much. 

I could use my whole set of books and sell it at a discount…no that's a bad idea. Just think they could all end up back on the bestseller list again. The possibilities are endless. Perhaps I could even include a copy of my autobiography, _Magical Me_, there is a lot of information in it too that's not covered in my other fifteen books. Hmmmmm, perhaps I should include all fifteen of my books, _Break with a Banshee, Wanderings with Werewolves, Voyages with Vampires, Gadding with Ghouls, Holidays with Hags, Travels with Trolls, Year with the Yeti, Dinners with Dragons, Basking with Basilisks, Fighting with Fiends, Mornings with the Morrigan, Ravings with Rocs, Breakfast with Boggarts, Waiting with Wraiths and Nights with Nagas._ No that might be too much. Too intimidating. Worry about that later, I've more important things to worry about. What should I do for my first class. Wait I know………Cornish Pixies.


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TheMischiefMakers Proudly Present…

The Harry Potter Monologues:

# Professor Monologues Part II

## Starring: Flitwick, Trelawny, Binns and Quirrell

### Flitwick's Monologue

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Harry Potter! The famous Harry Potter! In my classroom! I couldn't believe my luck. That I have lived long enough to see his return to our world, a young man who is already a hero to so many wizards and witches… When Minerva announced his name at the Sorting Ceremony, I wasn't really paying attention. His name just failed to register in my mind. I was too busy worrying about my classes to pay attention, although I did notice that the Great Hall became full of whispering voices as a black haired boy slipped on the Hat. There was definitely something familiar about him but I couldn't put my finger on it at the time and soon I even forgot all about it in the rush of preparing my lessons.

Until I read his name on the roll and fell off my books, that is. Then I knew why he'd looked so familiar to me the night before. Of course, he was the son of Lily and James Potter who were killed in that Halloween night attack by You-Know-Who. Harry had been the only survivor and he'd been just a baby at the time. After this attack Dumbledore had wisely sent Harry out of our world and out of Voldemort's reach when he left Harry with his Muggle aunt and uncle. Everyone knew who Harry Potter was and what he had done but it had been ten long years since anyone had seen him. Ten years of wondering where he was, what he was doing, how he was faring among the Muggles and what he even looked like. I, of course, had the same questions as everyone else but there were a few other questions that I pondered as I climbed back on my chair. How had he survived the attack? What spell was it that had protected him and was protecting him still? What was it that Lily had done that night that made the difference between Harry's life or death?

Lily had been one of my best students, very powerful in the art of Charms work. It had been such a joy to teach her and watch her advance far beyond any of the other students in her year. Charms had always come naturally to her and she made even the most complex spell seem as easy as breathing. I looked out over my current class and wondered if her son's talent lay in Charms work to or perhaps somewhere else. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that Harry was very powerful. I could feel the power within him like a small vibration in the air. Harry looked back at me as I stared at him and I saw he looked at me and the world through Lily's bright green eyes.

Harry had returned to claim his birthright at last, but what about us I wondered. Will we be able to prepare him for the encounter that every one of us feels and knows must come? Will we even be given time to? I've said nothing to anyone so far because I'm not sure if I'm imagining things or not. I can feel the presence of something sinister and dark at work inside Hogwarts. It clings to the grounds and castle like a mist, making things murky that were once crystal clear. Somewhere within these walls evil lurks, waiting to strike. The shadows have taken on a deeper darkness. Normal sounds have lately seemed to echo far more then they should or seem to ring hollowly in the halls, making me shiver. I look at Harry and I wonder what life has in store for him? Will he be lucky enough to survive an attack by You-Know-Who again? So much hinges on his survival, all our hopes and dreams of a world free of the terror. All I know for sure is that somehow we must protect him on who so much hope rests even at the cost of our lives. 

#### **Trelawny's Monologue**

There have been many things that I have seen through the aid of my crystal ball. So many different events have been played out before me when I gaze into the balls dense, swirly, gray mists. Most of these events come to pass just as I had seen them, others change and become less like the visions I had. The future or rather this knowledge I posses of the future is a great and terrible thing. Great because I can see and forewarn people of events to come and terrible because many of the events I see are horrible and most of the time people just scoff at my powers. 

Many say that Divination is a questionable branch of magic. Most even believe it to be completely ludicrous. However, I've known many of those people that hold to that belief to consult lunar charts and planetary positions regularly. They have superstitions about dates and avoid major spell casting when certain planets are in alignment. They have premonitions of things to come. They may choose to scoff at Divination but it plays a major role in their lives even if they choose to ignore it. Even if they choose to ignore the signs that they are given that point to their possession of the powers of the Inner-Eye. 

I first noticed my ability to See at a very young age. I can't remember my first prediction other then it dealt with some family matter that was only important to me. Since that day I vowed I would use these powers I had gained to keep those around me informed of the dark days that are ahead. I've kept to this vow and will continue to impart my knowledge of the future to those that need to know of the events to come. 

So many have passed through these halls and I have seen that many more will. Many have joined me in my secluded tower and many will come in the future. Some see all, but most see nothing. True seers are rare but rarer still are those possessing the power of Sight but refusing to use it. Those that have this power but choose to ignore. Those that have the power but scoff at it. It is those people that I really feel sorry for. Perhaps, one day they will realize their power and use it. Perhaps, he will come to understand the inner power that he possesses.

### Binn's Monologue

I've been here forever it seems like. I've been a witness to so many events in both the Muggle and Wizarding Worlds. It amazes even me sometimes what I've witnessed. In the Wizarding World I've seen dark wizards rise and fall only to rise again and wait for their next fall. In the Muggle World I've seen Muggles invent many strange devices such as telegraphs and telephones, each one an improvement from the last. In the Wizarding World I've also seen many a good witch or wizard rise and fall never to rise again. In the Muggle World I've watched Muggles kill one another in wars. Some of the things I've seen in both worlds can be so depressing that it's a wonder I continue to watch how things progress at all. Perhaps, it is for this reason that I remain so impassive towards people. So unapproachable, so unreachable, so inwardly focused that most tend to stay away from me whenever I have free time. Of course when you're a ghost most people tend to give you a wide berth not matter what your view of the world may be or how depressing it is. 

Things haven't changed much from when I was a student here though. Even then most of the other students tended to stay away from me. I was made of stone. I was cold, calculating at times and harsh towards people. So instead of trying to crack my surface they merely kept their distance. I really didn't care though; I had my books to keep me company. Books are the best friends a person can have they don't judge you, at least not usually. Thus, my hours were spent in reading, how could I not when I had a library full of exciting and interesting ideas, histories and philosophies. While others went to Hogsmead I spent my time reading treatise on magic, others went home for Christmas and I stayed behind reading the histories, and at Easter Break I worked through the ideas and philosophies old long dead witches and wizards. 

However, there was one thing that could pull me away from my books. Quidditch. While I never excelled at quidditch I loved to watch the matches, feel the excitement raised by them and celebrate the joy of victory. Ravenclaw, my house, often trounced all the other houses in those days winning both Quidditch and House Cups all throughout my seven years as a student. It was spectacular. It will surprise you to know that I still cannot resist the mounting excitement of a Quidditch Game, even in death the pull I feel from the Quidditch Pitch is incredible. I couldn't miss a game if I tried. I suppose this must surprise you. Boring Professor Binns, one-tracked Professor Binns, unapproachable Professor Binns does enjoy something other then droning on about History of Magic. He does care for something other then his subject matter. He's almost human. Remarkable revelation huh?

I care for other things too. I do care for my students even though it appears I do not. They would claim that I don't but really I do. I wonder if young Potter will be given the chance to live the life his parents were unable to. I remember that night so well; the night Lily and James were killed and Harry sent to live with his Muggle relatives. It's an event that stands out vividly in my mind. It's a night that has gone down in the history books. A night of both mourning and celebration. All I could do that night though was mourn. Mourn the loss of two of the best students to come out of Hogwarts. The next day there was another loss to mourn; young Pettigrew was dead, killed by Sirius Black and young Black sent to Azkaban for his crimes. Those events still haunt me like I haunt Hogwarts.

I wonder will young Potter live to tell the tale of the "boy who lived?" Will he live to tell his children to watch out for Professor Binns' boring History of Magic class? Will he and his classmates meet again in the years to come? I suppose only time will tell and I've got a lot of time to spare. Go away now I have a lecture on the Goblin Rebellion to work on.

#### **Quirrell's Monologue**

Why did I do it? How could I have fallen so far so fast? How could I have come to this pass? Evil now resides within my soul, sharing it with me. I've let evil enter my heart and he has taken everything from me. I should have known better than to trust him and yet he had promised me so much. Riches, honor and power. The three things I thought I wanted most of all. He dangled them before me and I was naïve enough to believe every word he said. Maybe he put a spell on me- I don't know- but he's gotten me to do his bidding. Even when I resist him, still the result is the same. The last time I had tried to resist …

I don't want to think about that. It's too painful. Now I am left with nothing but this little corner of my mind to call my own. Voldemort has taken over and I have become a prisoner in my own mind. I can't act. I can't speak. I can't take any action at all. The only thing I can do is sit helplessly by, watching while Voldemort works his evil through me. I long to run to somebody, to warn them of the traitor in their midst, but its impossible now. There is too much of Voldemort in me to ever hope to be free of his taint. His spirit runs like a strong poison in my veins, unstoppable and his evil clouds my spirit in impenetrable darkness.

In the deep dark hours of the night, I wonder how my life had gone so horribly wrong. Was there some flaw, some weakness in me that he had discovered and used to engineer my fall? I wasn't always so cowardly or so evil. Once I had been brave and good. The power I had was enough for me and I was glad to help anyone in need. I had always been interested in fighting the creatures of the Dark Arts. Perhaps it was this and my need to help others that had lead me to this pass because it was through this that I found Voldemort and his hiding place. 

I thought he was just another unfortunate victim of an attack by a vengeful and evil hag. He had looked so helpless and nearly dead that I had to help him. What I didn't know was that the hag I thought was his enemy was in fact working for him. Undaunted by the challenge I fought the hag and easily defeated her. It was as I did this that fear began to grow within me. I turned to see him standing there, glowing a sickly and evil green. Then I knew who he was and what I had done. Voldemort's evil was loosed on the world once more through my actions.

I tried to flee then and had been fleeing ever since. I began to fear every shadow and anything or anyone touched by the Dark Arts. Teaching became a daily nightmare as my fear grew. I could no longer concentrate on my subject and had even become afraid of it. I had just about decided to retire from teaching and to tell Dumbledore what I had done when Voldemort finally caught up with me. He demanded that I remain at my post and help him eliminate his rival in power: Harry Potter. He told me that he would then leave me forever, granting me peace from my fear and that if I did him this one small service he would grant me more power than I had ever known before. I was tempted then and in that moment my soul became his.

I will never be free from his evil, I realize this now and the thought depresses me. There is nothing I can do or say that will make up for the mistake I have made. My only hope now lies in Harry's hands. I hope he can defeat Voldemort this time as he did in the past. Maybe his magic will banish Voldemort forever this time. As for me, I know my life is forfeit no matter what the outcome. I look forward to it because in death I shall finally be free of this evil within me at last.

A/N: Well there it was. Another group of monologues. What did you think? Reviews are always welcome and anyone who flames will get a personal visit from Gilderoy Lockhart and you wouldn't want that to happen would you? *grins* All these characters belong to J. K. Rowling which you already knew. More to come soon.


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# The Harry Potter Monologues

## October 31, 1981 Monologues 

Starring: Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and Lily

By: TheMischiefMakers

A/N: Here's a new set of monologues from us. Before you begin to worry about the rest of the teacher monologues, we assure you that they are being written even as we write these. Just is case some of you are wondering these are being written for all of the characters, so even dead people get their say by having it before they are dead. Hope you enjoy and as always read and review, we really like reviews.

### Sirius Black

Too late. I have arrived to late. The Potter's house lies before me, a burning and shattered wreck. My friends' bodies lay broken and twisted at the center of this ruin of what was once a serene and happy place. A place full of love and peace. I hold Harry in my arms and stare at the devastation around me. There is nothing I can do now. The world around me has become a never-ending nightmare of pain, death and betrayal and the warning that I carried has come to late to save anyone. The betrayal has already occurred and my friends have lost their lives, leaving Harry an orphan. Why didn't I guess it was him? I should have been searching for one no one would ever suspect instead of chasing shadows, instead of believing rumors and black lies. The fact that no one would ever suspect him was the reason I had chosen Peter to be Secret Keeper in my place when it became clear to me that everyone would believe I was the Potter's Secret Keeper, including Voldemort.

Peter, though, was the traitor who brought all this despair and grief to everyone. It was he who had been passing information for a year or more before this night of death. The traitor who had once been a friend. The one on whom we had counted to keep the Potters safe. The very person that I had myself helped to shelter and hide while all the time he was using us, using me in some twisted game of chance. He gambled away the lives of his friends and everything he once believed in. What had gone wrong? When had our friendship started to fall apart? Why had we all grown apart who had once promised to always remain friends? When had Peter fallen into Voldemort's darkness never to rise again?

I though we were supposed to be friends forever, true and loyal to each other until death. We promised to stand or fall together. We swore to be true and to help one another in time of need, to stand together in this time of darkness. When had these promises been broken? What caused Peter to so callously disregard our friendship, which was meant to stand the test of time? What past event was the one that led him to follow the path of darkness? Why had my world come crashing down around me? Why hadn't I seen it coming? Why did I stand by and let it happen, doing nothing when the seemingly peaceful night began to feel wrong? Why did I delay when I knew the truth in my heart, when I could sense their danger?

Anger and grief are all I know in this moment when things have become hopeless and I am blinded by the darkness that has entered my heart. Anger at Peter, Voldmort and myself for causing all this destruction and grief at the loss of my friends and a friendship now shattered beyond repair. I feel lost and alone, cast adrift without any knowledge of the waters on which I now travel. I have pushed away my only remaining friend because I had let others talk me into suspecting him without realizing they were doing it. I let others pursued me that Remus wasn't to be trusted because of what he is. I should have defended him against these accusations instead of allowing mistrust to grow between us, weakening our friendship. He had never shown any sign that he was the traitor in our ranks. He was as full of honor and courage as anyone I knew. I should have known that, though he is a werewolf, he is still a man full of goodness and kindness whatever others might say of his kind. I should have remained true to our friendship but I failed him just as I have failed James and Lily this night.

I have no answers, only questions and what-ifs that run in circles in my mind, crowding out all other thought. The only thing that I am sure of is this: I must find Peter and turn him in. he holds the answers to all my questions. I have to find him. I must…for the Potters and the others who lay dead by his hand, for Harry and the other orphans of this war, and for myself and other friends whose friendships lay shattered. Then maybe we will all have answers to the question:

Why?

### Remus Lupin

How could so much happen in such a short period of time. A week was all it took. A week to shatter lives. A week to end friendships that were to have lasted forever. A week that started with a night of terror highlighted by the full moon in a place of happiness in Godric's Hollow and ended with a sunlit day of remembrance in a place devoid of any life except those that came to pay their respects. It is a week that I will never forget. The events of that week have shattered my life for a second time. 

Where did it all go wrong? James and Lily were so perfect…so loving…so friendly…so happy. A happiness that I felt I was apart of. A happiness that had been denied me since the bite changed my life so many years ago. Now I will never have happiness again. How could things change so drastically in one night? What happened to divide us from one another? What happened to the vow that we had taken after graduation? We were to stay friends forever, we promised to stay true and loyal to one another. We were to protect one another when the darkness came. That vow is now broken, lives are forever altered and things will never be the same. 

Things will never be the same for Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs because Prongs and Wormtail are dead and Padfoot is worse then dead, he's the traitor that brought about the downfall of the rest of us. He's the one that forever separated us, when that separation was never to have happened at all. Padfoot…Sirius…my friend…the one I had called friend with the others. How could things have changed so much to lead you to follow the path of darkness? I wish that I could believe my heart which tells me that this is wrong, which tells me you are innocent, but how can I when all things point to you as the traitor. You were their Secret Keeper. How could you betray that secret and betray a friendship that has meant so much to me. Friendships that are forever lost and our friendship that I thought was so true. Was it all nothing but a lie, a dark, cold lie? A lie as cold as the grave that now holds James and Lily. I wish you could explain it all. Why you betrayed them? Why you killed Peter and why am I the only one left? I wish this whole event could be explained away and things would return to the way they were, but fate has planned it all to work against me. You are in Azkaban; Peter is dead killed by your hand, James and Lily…

Are in the grave that is before me. I stand here now because I found my grief was too much and my heart to heavy with the pain of the partings to attend the funeral. I now stand here looking at the flowers, which still live, and knowing that underneath them two of my best friends are dead. Buried in the ground. A cold and dark ground devoid of any light and warmth. A place so unfit for them that I long to remove them and bring them back to the light and joy that should've been their life. I can't though so I just stand here and cry thinking of how dark and lonely it must be fore them in the damp, cold earth. I cry for them, for myself and for our friendships that were shattered on that fateful night and the day following. Oh James…Lily.

I wish, oh how I wish things could've been different. How, I wish I could change places with them. How many times over the last week have I thought about them, about all the times we shared all the mischief we caused? How many times have my thoughts strayed to those days of reckless youth? How many times have I found myself realizing how utterly alone I now will be?

Alone again. No place to go…no one who cares…no friends. Oh, James, Lily, Peter….Sirius. How? How? If only we were all together again. If only fate hadn't played her deadly hand, taking everything I cared for away from me again. If only things could've stayed the same. If only…we could go back to before.

### Peter Pettigrew

I'll remember this night, oh how I will remember it. It will haunt my dreams and find its way into my waking hours. The images of my betrayal will forever follow me no matter how far I may try to run from them. They will always be there, waiting to remind me of how easily I was turned. I betrayed them, us, and myself. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs are forever separated by my vile act of treachery. Voldemort came and when he left he took my two friends James and Lily with him. How, could I have let this happen to them…to us? What happened to that vow we took? How could I so easily disregard so sacred a vow: to stay true and loyal, to remain friends forever. How could I betray us all? Our vow is now shattered beyond repair and our friendship broken like glass from these shattered windows in this house of pain where love should've remained. 

What caused me to turn from all that I had been taught? How could I turn from the light that I so cherished and allow darkness to rule my heart? Was I bespelled by Voldemort when I was captured? Was it then that his darkness took over my soul? How, could he draw from me the truth without my knowledge? Was it my fate to be a pawn in some extravagant and deadly chess game played by the fates? If I had never befriended them would things have been different? Would they still be alive at this moment, enjoying dinner on the table that is now in ruin? Without their friendship I'd have never made it through Hogwarts. Oh, my friends, I wish I could change it all but that's impossible.

I wonder how I let things go so far. How did I let Voldemort get into my soul and turn it to evil? How did he take the light within me and twist it to his own vile darkness. How could I betray them so easily? How? How?

My betrayal is far worse then anything I've known. I should die. I wish that I could die but it wouldn't change anything. I must live with the truth of this night, a weight that will wear down my soul and heart for the rest of my miserable life. If you could call what I have left a life. 

The sadness of all this is not my wretched existence but the fact that I know James would forgive me for what I've done when I cannot forgive myself. "People all have flaws and make wrong decisions," he would say, "I forgive you Peter. You did as you had too." But, this wouldn't change the anguish I feel in my heart as I stand here in the ruins of their house. Nor does it make looking at their broken bodies any easier. Knowing that they would forgive me only deepens my anguish and gives me all the more reason to end my life. If only it would bring them back and make everything as it was before this night, I would gladly end my life but the reality is that while time moves on this night will forever be etched into my mind like a carving by a master artist. A carving of pain, death, betrayal and sadness. A carving of lives lost forever and one life lost to the darkness.

James Potter

Betrayal is the most evil thing in the world. Why Peter? Why this night? Is it too much to ask for an answer from you? This night was so innocent seeming… so beautiful and peaceful… How could things have gone so horribly wrong? What leads a friend to betray another friend? When had our friendship strayed? To be betrayed by a friend is the hardest thing. To discover the one you have trusted to protect you and your family has set you enemy upon you… it's too much for me to bare. I done nothing… NOTHING… to earn all this pain and suffering. Voldemort stands at my door, brought here by one I thought of as a friend. Was his friendship false? I thought and believed we made a promise, to remain friends, to be true, to help in time of need, to stand side by side against the darkness.

Now I stand, utterly alone, in a hopeless battle with that darkness. I must do this to save my family who mean more to me then life itself. My wife and son will… must escape and live as I fight to give them time. My love will for them is greater than all Voldmort's evil power. He may take me into darkness but he will not have Harry. This I have sworn and this I must do for the sake of the world, both wizard and Muggle. I die with the love of Lily and Harry in my heart. Love will guard them and save the world. Yet, still even after I'm gone I'll wonder: Why?

Lily Potter

Anguish. My heart is in anguish. Why must I now leave this world when Harry still needs my love and guidance? What has led us to this pass? How in one night could things have changed so much? Why has this evil been visited upon us? Why have I lost all on this once peaceful and beautiful night? A trust has been broken, a friendship betrayed, and a friend found false. All promises once made are now null and void, cast aside in a quest for power. To gain that power all he needed to do was betray his friends but through that betrayal he will lose his friends forever. What of the promises we once made? Did they hold so little meaning for him that he could just cast them side like some old clothing at the first opportunity? Was our friendship a lie from the start? Had we ever know the true Peter, even growing up together? When had things fallen apart?

Even as Voldemort stands before me, my thoughts turn to our friends. Why did we allow ourselves to grow apart? What had caused this change? When had we become strangers to one another? When had the mistrust and deceit begun? And what of the future? What of my child who I will soon leave behind forever? I love him more than anything on this earth. He must survive, somehow, even if I do not. He must. Through this charm he will be forever linked to me, to my love. My love and that of his father will shield and guard him. Voldemort will not claim him or his powers this night. Voldemort's terror ends this night; right here in the very house he seeks to destroy. My love will protect Harry forever even when I'm dead. To protect him I will give all I have to give. I will give my love and life that he might live.

You have read them, now review them…please J


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